User blog:Tsukune sendo/Review for all!
I'm gonna do some reviews. Anyone who is interested please comment. Dislikes in fanfics *New ssj levels. While I do find them interesting and creative, usually they are not written very well. I think that giving your character a unique transformation or transformation technique, (like Goku's Kaioken) is more effective because you are less likely to pull a "he got really mad and transformed." *Dragon Ball GT. If you're making an after GT fic like AF, expect a bad review. If GT is just simply considered canon in your fic and you're not making an AF clone, consider placing after DBZ instead. This way, it's a lot easier to place your stories, (because GT has events such as Goku's departure that make that kind of hard,) and it makes your story seem a lot more... canon in my eyes. If you absolutely need to use ssj4, just add it in anyway, show Goku and/or Vegeta acheiving the forms in our own way! *Xicor. Don't use him. He's overpowered, and he belongs to someone else. *Finaly, don't bring villains back from the dead. That's unoriginal, and simply not canon too. *I've done all of this stuff in my old fanfic Dragon Ball: Saiyajinn Seishin and trust me, it was terrible. Grades F-- this story was the worst thing on earth. F- This story was really really really bad. F This was a bad story. F+ This story was bad but it did have some good parts. F++ This story was really bad but has some promise as well. D-- This story is pretty bad it can be saved. D- With work this story can be salvaged. D A story that needs work but could turn out good after. D+ This story has a fairly decent amount of promise, but it's not written well. D++ This story could be a whole lot better but it's not written well. C-- This story is average, and on the bad side. C- This story is average, and a bit on the bad side. C A fairly average story. C+ An average story with some promissing story elements. C++ An average story with many promissing story elements! B-- A good story, but it's missing something considerable B- A good story, but it's missing a little bit of something. B A good story. B+ A pretty good story. B++ A story that is almost amazing, it just needs some work. A-- An amazing story! It needs just a little work to make it near perfect! A- An amazing story that needs a really really small amount of work to make it near perfect! A An amazing story, just not perfect. A+ A nearing perfect story. A++ A very close to perfect story. S-- An extremely close to being perfect story. S- Even closer to perfection than S-- S Even closer to perfect to S-- S+ One or two minor edits away from perfection S++ A perfect story Let the reviews begin! The Lise Chronical's Pros *Very dramatic *Lise is an awesome character! *King vegeta's death was a great dramatic point in the story. *I can't wait to see the fight Cons *The grammar needs a little work *Frieza had no reason to tell Lise about the saiyan genocide. Overall this a great story! I would suggest writing the chapters in word before posting them to get the grammar right! B+ Bardock the King Pros *Bardock is not at all ooc. *Bardock questioning his own morality. *Bardock realizing that King Vegeta and Freiza were alike. *The comparison between King Vegeta and Freiza. *Very good description. *Nice images *Grammar Cons *In chapter 1 He thought that he could've saved the Saiyans if he had killed Freiza when he could. Wouldn't he have realized that he was no match for Freiza by then? Overall this is an exceptional story with exeptional grammar and exceptional discription, therefore it deserves an exceptional score. A+ Homeland Pros *Very good discription *Good grammar *Nice images Cons *Where does Coolin and Baby Raditz come in? (Refering to the Image Gallery) It is too early to see how the story is gonna turn out. Its pretty good so far but i'd get this re reviewed whenyou have more chapters. A Dragon Ball Z: The Lost Book Pros *No GT *Great Villains *Great Grammar *You did what many people on this wiki could not do. You ended every saga without anyone acheiving some miraculous new Super saiyan level. *The techniques designed for your villans were amazing. Cons *Brocc turning psycho was kind of rushed. *It doesn't make sense that Brocc did not go to Hell. It showed that he didn't care about the earth when he tried to kill the Z fighters. *How did Brocc know instant transmission? Overall this was a very good Fanfic.It was different from the things usually written on the wiki making it even better. In my opinion people should write their fanfics like this. A Dragonball Z 2.0 Pros *The fights were well illustrated. *The villans were interesting. They were like the normal villains with a twist. *The buu tournament was cool. Cons- I'd get settled because there are quite a few. *It was hard for me to find the Pros *Goku's powerlevel was around 700 at the begining of Dragon ball Z. How would he reach Super saiyan? *Grammar isn't that good. *Senzu is spelled wrong *Broly appeared way too early *Broly kills 9 of the 10 Piccolos. The last one ran and hid behind a tree. OOC *Image theft lots and lots of image theft. *Saiyan is misspelled constantly *Cooler says"Fools.That was an clone that l sent to kill you." Clones? Really? *Goku wishes everyone back and then he's talking with Trunks all of a sudden. What happened in between. *When Piccolo fuses with Kami the Dragon Balls become inert. Piccolo can't become the Guardian because he's not a Dragon clan namekian *Vegeta would've been able to dominate perfect cell because he had achieved Super Saiyan 2 *If Vegeta was a Super Saiyan 3 he should've been able to insantlly kill Cell. *Oh no, not Super Saiyan 4. Gohan should've been able to kill cell with Super Saiyan 2! *There are so many cons i don't have time to finish them all right now. to be continued... *Every single one of the Z fighters combine? Is that the best you can come up with? Thats impossible *Super Saiyan 400. Not only is that way too many Super Saiyan levels but it makes the other Super saiyan levels obosolete. *Super Saiyan 4000 Now Super saiyan 400 is obsolete. *Why is their so much poisening of water? Overall I feel bad for saying this but this story was terrible. If I were you I would seek help in writing fanfics. Keep trying! Don't stop writing! F- Flute: The Legendary Namekian Pros *Hammer's death was dramatic and drama in stories is very good. *Trumpets death was even more dramatic very good. *Might namek. *Very good discription. *It is very unique. Most people (including myself) Use Saiyans in their stories but you yoused namekians. *Good grammar Cons *Nameks that lived on planet namek have slug based names. (I.E Lord Slug, Nail, Cargo ect.) This overall is a very good story. I look forward to the other chapters and Rise of Heros. A+ Dragon Ball: Final Quest Pros *Very dramatic *The Z-Sword awesome! EDIT: AND ITS MERGED WITH TRUNK'S SWORD AWESOME! *The intro is also awesome! *Kai-O-Ken is used *Awesome fight scenes *Nice description Cons *Needs more explanation. Who is Trayan? (I know he's trunks and pan's son but still) *How was that eclipse different then any other? What did it do different? *You need character pages to explain characters better Overall This story from early on looks promising. Just slap on a few character pages and give a few more explanations and bam! You got a GREAT fic! B Dragonball V Pros *Much better writing overall then 2.0 *1st person *Good grammar *Its about vegeta *its about kid vegeta *Nice Logo *The Voice *Vegeta becomes king *Turles-vegeta rivalry *Ledas Cons *Ledas says SUPER SPECIAL AWESOME too much *You keep changing formats *The first few chapters from the begining of the planet earth saga till the end of the frieza saga *Calling frieza's race ice demons *Putting the abridged fefrences in as mean while in "blank" Universe Wow. This is the single best fic you've written and no matter what the template says it is a representation of what should be written on the wiki. You have really improved and this story will be hard to beat! B Dragon Ball: Crossover Pros *This was so bad it made me laugh Cons *This story doesn't make sense This was literally the worse thing i've ever read. You need help writing fics. Don't stop writing! F-- Dragonball V: DNA of Friendship Pros *This story has very solid grammar. *This story also contains very solid and understandable story elements that I find interesting enough to keep me reading. *The fusion of Vegeta with Cooler's body was an interesting amd unique way to raise his power. I'm very VERY glad that you didn't add another super saiyan transformation instead. *Your fight scenes, (as always) are well written and enjoyable. *Not that much format switching Cons *I think you should have had the Voice just take over Vegeta's body and force him to undergo the procedure. I find it slightly OOC that Vegeta would be willing to fuse with anything, even for more power. *I feel as if Ledas's negative feelings toward Vegeta were rushed and escalated a little bit too quickly. I think that the story should've been longer to show the escalation of Ledas's anger towards Vegeta grow. I wouldn't try to kill my best friend because I had a bad dream or didn't like the look he had. *There are some small grammar mistakes, and a repeated sentence that can be fixed easily. I'll pm you what those are. Overall this was a very solid story! I'm very glad that you have gotten to be such a good writer! I have a new story collection called If Only I Were Greater... in which I will be writing a new Vegeta based AU fic, so we'll be able to compete again. I would also be honored if you would write a story for this collection as well! This story will be getting a B++ fix those things in the cons though, and it may be an A! Category:Blog posts